can't get no satisfaction?

Wowwww. A lot has happened since I blogged last. I'm not very good at this, but I guess I have to feel pretty inspired to write a blog.

One of my main struggles as a believer is getting validation and complete satisfaction from God alone. I know we all struggle with that. As humans we have an innate desire to stray away from the Lord. Worldy things and relationships are easier to choose because they are visible, right here in front of us, while God is harder to comprehend because we cannot physically give Him a hug or talk to Him face to face. We can't always hear His voice. After all, we were given the free will to decide what to do with our time here on Earth.

In Atlanta at Cru's Unveiled Conference, I guessed I just reached a breaking point. I realized how much I was looking for worldly validation...in friendships, material things, boys, basically everything except God. All the while, I had Him on the back burner. Praise God, though, He never gives up on His children. He brought me to a place of brokenness, and showed me everything I was running to instead of Him. It was during worship the first night. Tenth Avenue North played a concert and they were a.m.a.z.i.n.g. I have heard this one song by them a million times, but I never truly stopped to think about the lyrics:

Before the sun has touched the sky
Colors bursting from Your eyes
Before the flood of the morning light
Before the earth has felt Your heat
Before I stand up to my feet
Before I begin to feel this weak

Satisfy me Lord, oh oh
Satisfy me Lord, oh oh
I'm begging You, to help me see
You're all I want, You're all I need
Oh, satisfy me Lord

When the day is closing in
Like the stars in the night I am falling
Into the pull of the earth and it's affection
In me, oh lord, can you create
A pure heart cuz I'm afraid
That I just might run back to the things I hate

Satisfy me Lord, oh oh
Satisfy me Lord, oh oh
Yeah, I'm begging You, to help me see
You're all I want, You're all I need
Oh, satisfy me Lord

You're beautiful, You're beautiful
You're more than all this world can give
You're beautiful, You're beautiful
You're love is all I need to live

It describes exactly how I was feeling. I was sick of turning to other things for satisfaction, when the only One who could give me total satisfaction, the peace that transcends all understanding, was waiting for me while I was in the valley. He was standing on top of the hill, arms wide open, ready to clothe me in a robe fit for a queen, with a feast prepared for a kingdom. That is the most amazing thing about God. He is always waiting for His prodigal sons and daughters to come home. This song really made me just cry out to God and ask for His complete satisfaction. The singer was talking about how this was inspired by Psalm 90:

"Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days." v. 14

This was my prayer. I went to sleep that night after asking the Lord to fill me up. When I woke up the next morning, I felt lighter. I know that sounds so dumb, but I was feeling especially cheerful and in high spirits. This made way for some other amazing things to happen between me and God on that trip. He affirmed my desire to go on a summer project. I am still praying about where, but I think it might be Salerno, Italy. He also urged me to share the Gospel with two people who I probably would not have shared it with just because I was afraid, and He gave me the strength to do so.

My point is when we turn to Christ for satisfaction and STOP looking around in the world for fullness, He is faithful to bring it to us. When we place our eyes on Him fully, we are able to see more clearly the things He has for us. I challenge you to really look at where you are finding comfort and satisfaction. If it is anything other than God, you will be let down eventually. Of course I will always struggle with this, too, but as long as we acknowledge our desire to stray, we will be reminded of what to do when it springs up: ask God to satisfy us with His unfailing love!