ditching the pity party.

Well, here it is, my first post. This totally brings me back to the days of Xanga, except this blog has much more purpose than that. I'm not sure if anyone will actually read it, but for those who do, this is the stuff that goes on in my head. Hopefully you can learn things by reading this, as I learn things by writing it. I've always been an internal processor, (but not the kind that goes in your computer, teehee.) and I think it's much easier for me to write things down and think about them. I think too much, so this is the overflow from my brain. Hope you enjoy. :]

Today, I figuratively woke up on the wrong side of the bed. My family was being annoying, and my monthly visitor came today. Ladies, I know you can relate. I just carried around a sour attitude all morning. Then, it turned into sadness. For some reason, all I wanted to do was cry and feel sorry for myself. I fabricated a few reasons why I felt this way.

1. Everyone at my house was kind of ignoring me and doing their own thing. They were all going places, leaving me alone at home.
2. They all had breakfast without me because I chose to sleep in late.
3. I had burning cramps that seem to have come straight from the pits of Sheol.
4. Blah, blah, blah, whine, whine, whine.

I decided for myself that I was just going to lay in bed and cry, because obviously that is a great way to spend your morning. Here it is, Christmas Eve, the day before our Lord was born 2009 years ago, and I am throwing myself a pity party for no real reason. God is a gentleman, and He was probably shaking His head with a faint smile as he lightly tapped me on the shoulder this morning. I felt Him soften my heart as I began to realize how incredibly infantile I was acting. I had no reasons to feel this way, and even if I did, my joy should come from Him, and Him alone.

That is the thing. The Lord wants us to be joyful all the time. He wants us to share in His joy and splendor and therefore, return to Him the glory that is rightly His. The following passage is an encouragement to me whenever I want to feel sorry for myself:

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." James 1:2-4

When we are tempted to feel sorry for ourselves because we think we have it bad, we need to look to the Lord for our joy. True, it is nice to throw a pity party because it gets attention. It's a manipulative form of pride that gets the job done, but will it develop perseverance? Will it help us to be mature and complete, lacking nothing? At the end of the day, all a pity party will bring is more of its kind. It will turn into a cycle and the problem will remain.

When I looked to God and asked Him to change my heart today, He obliged. He completely helped me do a 180, to where I was whistling and humming, having a desire to get into the spirit of this wondrous holiday, and be selfless. I actually emptied the dishwasher without being asked, because I felt like it, and those who know me know doing dishes is my least favorite household chore. It's amazing what a little motivation and joy straight from the Lord's gracious outstretched hand can do for us when we ask:

"'What gain is there in my destruction, in my going down into the pit? Will the dust praise you?Will it proclaim your faithfulness? Hear, O LORD, and be merciful to me; O LORD, be my help.' You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing to you and not be silent. O LORD my God, I will give you thanks forever." Psalm 30:9-12

Next time you get an invitation to your pity party, ditch it. God's house party of joy is way more bumpin'.

Merry Christmas, everyone. :]